the first time i heard the word camel toe, it was coming from my mother’s mouth. i was wearing white spandex bell bottoms and i was going as Selena (R.I.P.) for halloween. i was also 10 years old. i’d like to thank my mother for making me aware of vaginal embarrassment at such an early age. but is it embarrassing? i was at the beach today and realized that i didn’t landscape as well as i thought and i asked myself, “is anyone really looking at my vagina?” maybe my boyfriend but i’m sure that he was actually just looking at my butt. (have you seen it?)
the camelflage is a new cool invention that smooths out your feminine parts under tight clothing. you’ll never have a cameltoe again! it’s basically a snuggie for your twat. what i mean is, a gimmick too ridiculous to hate on. is it necessary to spend $19.99 plus shipping and handling for a pair of underwear that won’t show your labia lips through your yoga pants? are the other bitches in yoga classes checkin’ out your ‘toe while in downward dog? probably not. if you are wearing yoga pants anywhere other than yoga class, i hate you. the only time i’ve ever had a cameltoe was the first time my mother pointed it out. she made me aware and to this day and forever after that, i am always conscious. and everyone with a vagina should be too. don’t wear clothes that are too tight for your fupa and this problem will be solved.